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 TV turn off next week (currently 3,700 views) |
| Futurekids |
| Posted on: April 21st, 2006, 12:14am |
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This came across one of the listserves that I'm on. Looks interesting.
Sharon
Hi all, I just wanted to remind everyone that it's TV turnoff week next week. This is a great thing to share with your patients/clients especially who have children.
Here's the website. They have some one-page PDF handouts. Pass it on!
http://www.tvturnoff.org/factsheets.htm
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| Twinville2 |
| Posted on: April 21st, 2006, 7:17am |
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We only watch 3 hours of TV a week, and that's it.
We all watch American Idol on Tues and Wed.
And Mama watches Survivor on Thursday.   |
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Reply: 1 - 21 |
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| laurae |
| Posted on: April 21st, 2006, 2:12pm |
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Thanks for the reminder Sharon!
Laura |
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Reply: 2 - 21 |
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| Crystal_Miller |
| Posted on: April 21st, 2006, 3:15pm |
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We love TV!!!
Actually, I think the opposite is true. Sorscha is very visual and auditory. If she sees it, hears it...she's got it. We watch a ton of Magic School Bus, Animal Planet, History Channel, Time Warp Trio. With everything she spouts about what she has learned from these, I think I would be doing her a disservice by turning it off. And obviously, she's not fat!!! haha
For another perspective check out: http://sandradodd.com/tv
Note: I used to be a mom who did not agree with TV. Sooo, years ago I would have been all over that link!! heehee I was sooo bad that my friends made fun of me. I also think that if I truly trust Sorscha to make choices that are beneficial to her, then me making a choice to turn off the TV would be telling her that I think that she is incapable of making great decisions for herself. Also, if I were to use coercion and say something like, "tv is not good for us, let's make a decision to turn off for a week", then I am actually kind of lieing to her. She's not stupid, she might go along with it, but I loose some trust in the process. She is capable of of making a decision of what has value to her, just like I am. In the big picture (that is kind of a pun..heehee) my ultimate job is to give her unconditional love and support her choices. Ultimately it is her life.
Also, I do think TV used to not offer anything substantial in the terms of what we call education. But now with 500 channels, I think the opposite is true. I also think that sitting down and relaxing and hanging out watching TV can be an amazing experience to open up all kinds of conversations.
I think that these "turn the TV off" campaigns are geared towards schooling families whom truly do not spend time together. Kind of like the "sit down for dinner" together thing. Sorscha and I are always together. At night, Dave and her spend the entire evening hanging out playing, etc. She's not gone all day where we need to reconnect over a game or dinner. We've done that all day. YEAH!!!
I know, totally different take..but thought I would throw it out there. That is the best way I have come to have my relationship with Sorscha. By listening to others and taking bits and pieces from many sides.
Thanks Sharon for posting. Things like these, even though they seem simple, bring me towards choices that can change my familys life. Great topic.
From the family who will still be watching some really cool stuff on TV. |
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Reply: 3 - 21 |
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| Kayla |
| Posted on: April 21st, 2006, 7:02pm |
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Crystal, do you think there is a certain age at which one can completely trust what your child does as good for him? I'm pretty sure your answer will be no. But, my kiddo loves video games (and I've read Sandra's take on video games) and he wants to do it constantly. Sometime I have to say, "No TV", just because I'm tired of listening to it. We usually watch preschool shows, which are great and I know they learn, but I feel like too much is too much.
Let me also say that sometimes I turn on the TV when everyone is screaming just to calm things down. I also use it in the mornings when I'm getting ready or cooking breakfast (or dinner). The kid wants his daddy to play video games everyday.
I know every book i've read would shun me and many parents would be disgusted. We watch TV all of the time. I don't have any schedule for doing ANY kind of learning at all. I feel like my kids are smart, but when I start thinking about other moms and the way their days seem to go, I cry.
I'm so lost sometimes. I want to unschool, but I feel like it's more of a lifestyle than anything. When I started letting the boys stay up whenever they wanted, things got out of hand and *I* felt like the kid, being told what we were going to do. And I was NOT getting enough sleep, because the kids don't choose to stay up till the SAME hours of the night. Daddy was wasted when he got home at 10pm and then he had to stay up 'till 12am just with the kids.
Okay, I know I'm going on and on, so I'll stop. Can you tell it's been a rough day? 
Anyway, when did you make the choice to unschool, Crystal? Was Sorscha older? I know Sandra Dodd has three kids, but part of me feels like this is an only child way of life. Is there dicipline in unschooling? From what I've read, it doesn't seem like it. I'm having a lot of trouble with "dicipline" right now. Mostly I've read lots of books and different ways of being and I'm kind of going around in circles and not getting anywhere.
I'm so insecure about homeschooling and I'm hoping you guys can help a little (though, of course I know that ultimately it has to come from within). Thanks for any input. |
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Reply: 4 - 21 |
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| Crystal_Miller |
| Posted on: April 21st, 2006, 8:11pm |
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Hey Kayla.
When you say, "do you think there is a certain age at which one can completely trust what your child does as good for him?" I would have to say that I don't think that Sorscha would choose to do something that would purposfully harm herself. Why would anyone do that? As her mom I make suggestions about society issues, behavior, and basic life style.
Sorscha did the video game thing too. When we stopped any restrictions on them, she played for 7 weeks straight...coma kid!!!! It was pretty funny, but one day she said, "I'm bored" and stopped. Since then she plays off and on when she wants, but keeps a pretty good cycle of self moderation between video games, tv, outside play, friends over, and other activities.
As for the tv for Sorscha. The same thing went. When I stopped nagging about what she was watching, how much she was watching, etc....she just seemed to moderate herself. In fact, like I said above, some days there is absolutely no tv, or maybe one show. She never just sits in front of it. I think because we have better things to do around our house. For instance, today she watched Wonder Pets then just turned it off and began painting. I would have been the last person to expect that. I think the mother I was before just assumed that children can't make good decisions on their own. Instead of allowing her to become the person she is...I hindered her by all my insecurities for her. I think I'm making sense. Now I know better for her. Also, we are an "energy aware" family. So it is habit for all of us to turn things off when we are done. Like lights, tv, video games, computers. This makes it so we just naturally migrate to something else.
Don't cry. It WAS HARD for me to learn to trust Sorscha. I think that from my bringing up it was very hard to not be controlling or worrying. I wanted the best for Sorscha, but in wanting this I found that our relationship was suffering. As the parent, I had to make changes..for us. I refuse to have that typical "kid dislikes mom" relationship. It has taken me years to get here. Like I said in another post...I just gave up worrying about math about a year ago. It is no longer hard for me to reject curriculum, etc. I know how Sorscha learns and I also see her happiness with how our life is now. Please don't cry. Stop comparing and just enjoy Kahlin and Kyle for who they are. They learned how to walk and talk without pressure from you. When you say, "I feel like my kids are smart"...you might want to think of that statment. Either think, "I know my kids are smart....I can trust them." And anyway, what is smart. Is it just that your child can keep up with the "What your grader needs to know" books. Or is smart that they are confident and intelligent and can make decisions for themselves. One day they are going to be out in the world and have to make them.
As for staying up late, we too had the bedtime deal. When we went to sleep, she had to go to sleep. When we became Radical Unschoolers we dropped all the rules. Absolutely she stayed up until 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning. But I will tell you that now she pretty much goes to bed when we do because she wants to be with us. There is no big thrill anymore with getting that special "stay up late" thing. The night before last it was 10:00 and she said she was going to bed. I know with Sorscha that when we let go of controls and rules that she went NUTS. It was like she screemed FREEDOM WAHOOOOO!! It has been a transition where many times I have said to myself, "this darn unschooling doesn't work". But we have stuck with it and like many of the unschool sites say....it works. We are proof. Oh and with the whole parents being tired, you can live by the principle of, "You are free to do as you please, as long as it does not infringe on others." That is from the book The Unprocessed Child by Valerie Fitzenrieter. When Sorscha chooses to stay up after we go to bed, she needs to be quite and respectful.
Unschooling is certainly not an only child life. Besides, my girlie is like 5 kids. I'm unschooling a tribe here!!! haha
You should check out the following,
Yahoo group called unschooing basics. All the issues deal with children under 8 years of age.
Yahoo group Always Learning.
I'm going on and on here too, but I want to answer your questions. I've been there and so many people helped me. As for dicipline. There is no need for dicipline if you live by principles. Your children will naturally learn what is appropriate or not by how you speak to them gently about it. To me, spanking, taking things away, timeouts would just set me up for rebellion with my kiddo. I think it is good to look at it differently. Expect the best, let more go, and if, per chance they....gosh, what could they really do that deserves punishment...hmmm, okay stealing a car (cops got that one handled), hmm, talk back (I love that Sorscha has an opinion. I do not perceive it as talking back. She can speak what she wants as long as what she says does not infringe on me - principle). If she were to say something cruel or sassy, I might say something about making people uncomfortable or hurting others feelings. But there would be no need for a punishment. Besides, I get sassy sometimes and I certainly talk back to my husband sometimes...why is it okay for me and not for her. Because she is a kid, that's why. I know that sometimes it can be embarresing when your child is not perceived nicely by the other moms for their actions or what they say. I have found with unschooling that most of the time what kids are doing or saying is really not a big deal but that we, as mommies, (okay I) am embarresed so I would dicipline Sorscha. Yeah, that's a great thing for our relationship when she knows I cared more about what other mommies thought than her.
I'm telling you Kayla...I've been there. Until Sorscha was about 5, then our unschooling journey began. At about 7 our Radical Unschooing journey surged forward. Please call me anytime 891-8910. You can vent to me and I can try and remember how I felt about certain situations. Unschooling is hard. I think people think that unschoolers just sit around, do nothing, kids run wild, etc. Unschooling is the hardest thing I have ever wanted to do. It has gone against all my "parent training". It has made me question myself and my relationships.
Trust your kiddos, they are not dummies. They will read, write, add, talk, walk, and if you trust them....they will end up trusting themselves. Again another thing that took me years to do. They're brilliant. It might not be they're brilliant in math or brilliant in typing skills, but they are brilliant because you love them and they are gonna shine brilliantly because of that. Trust yourself.
Ohhh, and sidenote: I wish I could have started attachment parenting and radical unschooling from the beginning. It is really cool that your boys are 4 and 2. Ahhh, 2...that was when Sorscha climbed onto the dinning table and swung from the light fixture. What a wonderful age!!! |
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Reply: 5 - 21 |
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| Crystal_Miller |
| Posted on: April 21st, 2006, 8:23pm |
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| See Sharon...without your post...Kayla and I would not have "hijacked it". haha Thanks again. |
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Reply: 6 - 21 |
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| Kayla |
| Posted on: April 21st, 2006, 9:06pm |
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Hiya.
Lots of thoughts, but this is my first question. What would you do if Sorcha weren't quiet and respectful when you went to sleep? |
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Reply: 7 - 21 |
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| Kayla |
| Posted on: April 21st, 2006, 9:18pm |
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| I KNOW my kids are smart. It's when I start comparing them and myself to others (not even really in a they should be able to do this at this age sort of way) that I start feeling insecure. This whole trusting myself thing is HUGE. Loving myself and trusting my success has been a long and continuing journey. And I'm sure it has something to do with the way I was raised. |
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Reply: 8 - 21 |
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| Crystal_Miller |
| Posted on: April 22nd, 2006, 12:36am |
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Whelp, that has happened!!! haha
I knew that Sorscha was not being disrespectul...just being a kid. Of course, being how I was raised, I wanted to march into the kitchen area and yell, "what the hell are you thinking? It is whatever time at night. Your being disrespectful. Now go to bed because you cannot control how loud you are speaking."
Yeah, that would have worked with Sorscha..I'm being sarcastic. It would have worked if I wanted Sorscha to hate me because I was bullying her just because she was smaller than me.
Instead, I went in (knowing that she is just being a kid...most kids are not purposfully disrespectful - that is an adult label) and said something to the affect of, "hey honey, your dad and I are already asleep. It is totally cool that your staying up, but can you please try and keep it down." Sometimes I have had to go in a few times. When she is being loud, again she is not saying to herself, "geesh, mom and dad are sleeping so I'm gonna be annoying", she's just a kid who forgets that others are around.
Gentle reminders are easier on both you and them. Instead of the situation turning into a nightmare, it just becomes another event in the day. Try to get all that "stuff" out of your head. I've been there too, I know it's hard when we have been raised a certain way. Whenever you are upset at something your kids are doing try to stop, breath, and think to yourself, "Is this my problem? Is this really something I should be upset about?"
My girl is loud!!!! I even had her ears checked a few months back because she talks SO LOUD!!! heehee...must have got that from me. Anyhow, I have had to learn to live with loud. Being just Dave and I for 10 years...that was hard.
I did that too, comparing myself and my child to others....it'll get you nowhere. It is great that you recognize it..then you can be aware of it. It will make you insecure like you say. I am so glad that I am cresting 40. I think that has a lot to do with trusting myself. I cannot wait until my 40's..whooo hooo!!!!
I hope I'm helping and not confusing you. I am one to switch conversations quickly...I just have so much to say about life. |
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| Twinville2 |
| Posted on: April 22nd, 2006, 5:50am |
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Well, I certainly don't have a problem with good quality T.V.,
especially educational cable shows.
It's just that we don't have cable. Too expensive for now.
And what the regular networks have on is mostly disgusting
and violent. True. I like watching CSI sometimes, but it
seems that most TV shows are going the way of police and crime
detective themes with lots of graphic illustration to boot.
And the other shows are mostly trashy with cutsey and raunchy
sexual comments that my 9 year old sons don't need to be exposed
to at this age and in that way.
We borrow tons of cool videos from the library and we watch movies
and other educational videos every day. And that's cool with us for now.
We recently rented Chronicles of Narnia from Blockbuster, and after only
having for 2 days and watching twice, my husband decided to buy it.
And then we watched our own copy two more times! 
Jackson and Jeremiah enjoy critiqueing movies. They've always been big
movie buffs and would love to be a movie writer, producer or director.
After watching the Chronicles of Narnia 4 times, while we were at the library,
my sons chose the whole C.S Lewis Narnia trilogy because they want to
immerse themselves into some of the lore and possible meanings, ideas
and background of the novel/movie.
They were fascinated with C. S Lewis' biography and want to learn even more
about him and his other books he has written.
That's just the way my sons are, though. They will learn a little about
something, and then want to delve into it deeper. It's the way I learn, too,
so we are really enjoying ourselves 
Quoted from Twinville2, posted April 21st, 2006, 7:17am at hereWe only watch 3 hours of TV a week, and that's it. We all watch American Idol on Tues and Wed. And Mama watches Survivor on Thursday. |
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Reply: 10 - 21 |
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| Crystal_Miller |
| Posted on: April 22nd, 2006, 8:14pm |
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Hey Lisa. Check out the link above for Sandra Dodd / TV. Read the Gilligan's Island part. It is right on top of the page. Anyhow, it is Sandra as a child describing all the things she critiqued through out the show. It might be funny to see her point of view since your boys are sooo into that.
Have fun. |
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Reply: 11 - 21 |
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| Twinville2 |
| Posted on: April 23rd, 2006, 5:49am |
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Crystal!!
ROFL!! Now, that is just the way my sons are when
watching a movie! We are always pausing the movie to discuss
what is going on or what they have questions about, or what
they believe is going to happen....and on and on.
And of course, then we have to watch the movie several more
times just to catch anything we may have missed!
That is too funny. I nodded my head and laughed while
reading Sandra's telling of her experiences watching Gilligan's
Island.
My sons would probably go into it even further, too.
While watching Survivor with me, they often go look up where
the show is located in that particular year, and then try to learn more
about the area, it's climate, people, customs, animals,
how we could get there, and how long it might take.
It's really fun seeing them learn that way |
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| Crystal_Miller |
| Posted on: April 23rd, 2006, 4:09pm |
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| Cool...glad you enjoyed it. It is a funny little article and totally makes you think about things differently. |
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| josacli |
| Posted on: April 24th, 2006, 5:06pm |
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I gotta chime in here. I am not an unschooler. However, I really don't see the problem with TV. To be honest, given the opportunity, my kids would rather go outside and play. I think if there are lots of fun, outdoor activities to choose from or a group activity with the kids they would ALWAYS choose those over TV.
Another thing I've noticed is that if I allow them ample time to "unwind" (bath, TV, games etc) they don't beg for more. We are always busy - too much TV is not an option because they want to play board games, play-doh, go outside etc. Also, as Chrystal said, there are A LOT of good learning programs out there - and I can't remember the last time I got to watch a movie all the way through without having to pause it or just plain turn it off because we had some great discussion about it.
Just my thoughts!
Jo-Anne |
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