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 help with teaching math (currently 971 views) |
| akjlfarnold |
| Posted on: March 1st, 2006, 8:36pm |
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HI all,
I am having a bad mo/bad homeschool day with y 7 yr old boy. I feel like we are back at square one. I have been trying to do alittle math, reading, and writing every day. When i say a little, i mean really not very much, he does a page on each in a workbook, we talk about it and move on. SOme of the pages have 6 things to do, so not too intense.
His math today happened to be a chart where he has to fill in the numbers from 1-100. The book writes a few in and he does the rest. Easy right? He *knows* how to count to 100, but in my opinion, needs to practice writing.
Now i tend toward unschooling so a part of me says "who cares, he will pick it up eventually". But the other part of me says, "hey, he needs to do this stuff"
I am mostly rambling, but i would be interested in what the rest of you do to encourage your kids. Am I unreasonable to expect him to do this at this point? What else could i be doing?
I wonder if he was in "regular" school he would be labeled ADD because he is inattentive, has trouble focusing, sees to not be able to see the forest for the trees. We eat well, lttle sugar, no caffeine, fruits and veggies. . . what am i doing wrong???
Help,
Karen |
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| josacli |
| Posted on: March 1st, 2006, 8:54pm |
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First - take a GOOD long deep breath! You are obviously a fantastic mother and are trying VERY hard. HSing is stressful at times. We ALL go through periods of self doubt. That said, if you are TRUElY concerned about ADD/ADDHD/any other mental/physical issue take him to a doctor. Be weary though, there are lots of issues involved in testing to diagnose ADD and RUN do not walk from ANY Dr. that suggest first line therapy be meds! Some kids meds are necessary and really help that said there are other treatments that should be tried first before going to chemical means - just my opinion. However, if it's that he just isn't doing it perhaps he needs a change in environment, routine or just a break. I am not an unschooler and tend more toward the "they have to do it" phyilosophy however that is not right for every child. Maybe getting him to practice writing his numbers could be accomplished differently.. a game, sidewalk chalk etc. Also, as a mother of a DD that has these tendencies, he might not be interested because he feels the exercise is just too easy. If he knows how to count to 100 then maybe count from 900 to 1000 or from 1000 to 1100. Try mixing it up a little... does he want to learn a foreign language?? Maybe he could count in that language and write them in "English" or if he would be interested what about Roman numerals and then writing the "English" counterpart. Doe she like to cook? Maybe you could make a recipe box for him of his favorite recipes and of course he would have to number each card and copy at least some of the recipe... oops, that number didn't print when we printed it off the computer.. Just a few ideas. Please, don't panic, you are doing fine and so is he. He has someone who obviously loves and cares for him giving him individual attention. Good luck
Jo-Anne |
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Reply: 1 - 13 |
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| Carol |
| Posted on: March 1st, 2006, 8:56pm |
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Well in my experience with workbook pages and unschooling is you need to pick one and stick to it. I know my friend will be posting on her once she reads this posting. She unschools. If he wants to do the workbook then it will unschooling. If you are doing cuz you think he needs it then it isn't. I guess what I am trying to say is decide if you are going to unschool or not.
Now I do not unschool myself, but I do let my children tell me if they had enough or not. It might be you are expecting him to do it and therefore he won't. Or at least not to your expectations. Stand back from math for awhile then step back into and see if his mind set is in it. It is true he will pick up math at some point. Try doing unconventional math where it is fun and he doesn't feel pressured. He will not realize he is learning.
I do think if he was in school they would label him. To me that is very scary. Once labeled it seems to follow throughout their life. He doesn't need that. He just has a different learning style. My youngest daughter has a different learning style than my oldest. I have to appproach her completely different. Different than what you are use to isn't bad and doesn't mean wrong. I found I had to learn to approach her in a way that my mind couldn't wrap around, but I did it with alot of patience. Thanks to some tools out there that show you how. Once you do that you will find that you and your son will absolutely respect each other. |
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Reply: 2 - 13 |
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| inginouity |
| Posted on: March 1st, 2006, 9:03pm |
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Karen, hi  Oh, this sounds soooo familiar. I have a 7 year ol boy too, homeschool like you do and some days are downright hell, like the one you describe.
There are certain things you have to take into consideration, I think:
ADD. I don't know a lot about it, but I did work in special ed for a year and was real close to several ADD ADHD diagnosed kids. There is more, I feel, to ADD/ADHD than what you describe. That could just be a pesky, fidgety, agrevating 7 year old, like they can be at times. If your instinct, however, tells you there might be something "wrong", best thing is probably to talk to your family doctor and tell him about your concerns and work with him in establishing weather or not your child has a problem.
What your child should and should not be able to know/do. I have always tried (with the emphasys on "tried") to be totally indifferent to what my son should or should not be able to do, unless it would come into the alarming zones, like not being able to walk after 22 months, for example. That would worry me, if it had happened, but otherwise I have tried to just go our own way and our own speed. I hd a very good pediatrician who explained to me that it is, with almost every developmental thing, a totally individual thing. A child will walk when it is ready to walk. When it's brains are not ready for walking, you can drag it along in it's little patent leather shoes, knees buckling, till both of you are blue in the face, but it won't walk. Period. This goes for most things: potty training, reading, talking, eating alone. This does NOT mean that you should not give your kid a healthy dose of challenge and stimulation, just don't get desperate when things don't happen when they "should, statistically happen".
Homeschoolers get scrutinized a lot, I have that clear and I see and hear a lot of frustration from moms and dads. It is like this: Kids in public and private schools normally go by a collective schedule and they should all be able to do whatever by whatever moment in time. If they can't "they" have a problem. Homeschoolers do their own thang and there are a bazillion methods, curriculae, speeds.
So you get confronted with people who will make stupid remarks like "Oh, he/she does not know how to read YET????" And you can read their mind screaming out "Thats what you get for homeschooling, you no good moron!!!" Nope, ma'm, he don't know how to read yet, but he is a killer whipping up rocket fuel".
For some of us it is easy to just shrugg it off and pass or we give a snappy reply or a smart a** reply. I don't have a lot of dificulties personally, probably because I am an "old" mom and sorta indifferent to what people think oif me/us. But there is a whole lot of pressure on a homescholing parent or caregiver, constantly.
Somehting I have learned over the time I am homeschooling is that my son has days in which he just slides through his things and it is awesome to see his brain work and he gets more done in an hour on those days than during a week like the one you describe. So I have adjusted to that. I take full advantage of his Einstein days and on his Patrick Starfish days, we just pass. I let go and we go and do some quality mom and kid stuff like baking cookies or watch a movie. Math and reading and writing will be there tomorrow. And guess what? If I do that and don't panic and keep reminding myself that it is about him and me and his (step)dad and nobody else, then things work out just fine.
Don't panic, if it is one of those days, pick him up, go to the park or the pool or the mountains, let him get rid of his energy. It is simply not a math day today. I consider us blessed to be able to do that. In public school he would have to go through the nightmare of having to do it and feel miserable.
Karen, I am not perfect and I know so well what you mean and have to remind myself constantly to put my money where my mouth is, but simple truth is that it works to just let go and relax.
I hope this makes sense to you. Now go have a cookie dough icecream with him
Ginou |
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Reply: 3 - 13 |
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| Admin |
| Posted on: March 1st, 2006, 9:20pm |
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Hi Karen, I have 7 year old son who is has attention issues, hyperactive issues, and lots more besides. Very, very challenging. We have tried what seems like just about every therapy & diet under the sun; some work a bit, some do not. The bad thing about school & labels is that it would possibly follow your child for life; the good thing is that most school teachers have seen a very wide range of child behaviors and it might be easier for them than for you to say "yes, this is just normal kid fidgeting" or "no, something really might be wrong here" as they observe them day to day. I agree with the poster who said that ADD/ADHD is something more, actually lots more, than just typical kid not willing to settle down kind of behavior. So, if in doubt, ask a doctor.
We follow a more relaxed approach to homeschooling than many. I hesitate to say I "sort of" unschool, because many unschoolers feel strongly about what that label means. Because of my son's strong inability to concentrate for extended periods, remember multi-step instructions, or multi-task, we have learned by trial and error what works for him and what doesn't. It's an ongoing process. You might find that a specific schedule works well. Or only doing schoolwork at a particular time of day. Or writing a checklist of what needs to be accomplished, Or backing of on most things and doing more read-aloud and wait until he gets a bit older.
I don't have any real specific advice for you, except to know that you aren't out there doing it alone! |
Elizabeth
Mom to Eric (8 ) and Ruby (4.5) |
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Reply: 4 - 13 |
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| akjlfarnold |
| Posted on: March 1st, 2006, 9:44pm |
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Thanks everybody. I guess my bad mom day struck chords with everyone =) Good to know I am not alone.
Re ADD/ADHD: I hear some of you being a little alarmed. . please do not be, one of my reasons for HSing is that I fear the label and I would be a royal pain in the butt if he was at school and I was told to medicate him. Mostly i do think he is a normal 7 yr old boy who needs lots of running around. I wouldn't even open that can of worms with a doctor.
I'll take the deep breath and the cookie dough icecream though! 
It is funny though how the "einstein days" are easily forgotten in the midst of the other days (who is patrick starfish?
After I posted I realized he *was not* going to finish that page if i made him work on it all day. So I looked online and found some math websites and asked him if we wouldrather do 1/2 hour of "work" on one of the sites or do his workbook. Guess which one he picked??  and he didn't want to get off after 1/2 hour.
So i guess lesson learned.
I still have the problem that i want him to actually *write* . How do i make that fun? I will try the recipe card thing, maybe I could find some other things for him to label. . . hmmm
Thanks for putting up with me. .
Karen
PS
Oh, the "m" on my keyboard sticks so pardon the typos! |
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Reply: 5 - 13 |
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| Renee |
| Posted on: March 1st, 2006, 10:04pm |
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Hello,
I started homeschooling in August and I still feel pretty new at it, but it's going along good.
When it comes to teaching math sometime we (my husband and myself) have problems too. Or, at least we had problems in the beginning, but now things seem to be running smoothly. What worked for me to get my daughter on track is setting a timer and telling her she doesn't have to feel afraid when the timer goes off, it's just a way so that we can see how much progress she's made in a certain time period. She usually tries to beat the timer and when she doesn't beat the timer then she can have more time. I set the timer for between 10 and 20 minute increments depending on what she's doing.
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Reply: 6 - 13 |
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| akjlfarnold |
| Posted on: March 1st, 2006, 10:16pm |
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Oh i wish deadlines worked. That is a great idea to use a timer, I think Jack is the type to (like me) say "i am never going to be able to make it so i am not even going to try"
I can use the timer for all sorts of other things, but if it means he is in race against it (which he will think, even if I tell hi otherwise) then forget it.
I wonder how much my math experiences play into this. I am sure a lot. I was always terrible at math, could not concentrate, couldn't see the forest for the trees. . . sound familiar?? I even feel intimidated teaching math to a first grader.
I took a conceptual applied math class in college that really helped a lot, but I am just not up to the challenge of making it conceptual and applied for my kids. . . ok, I am sure i am, but rightnow i do not feel like it!
Karen |
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Reply: 7 - 13 |
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| Admin |
| Posted on: March 1st, 2006, 10:57pm |
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Posts: 1,794
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| Hi Karen, regarding writing here's what works for us. We don't do writing assignments per se. Instead, we just do some real-world writing: Grocery lists, letters to grandma or other penpals. He also has a large 8x11 blank-page journal he has titled "THe Story of Eric" that he can write in to record interesting events or significant thoughts! For example, he might write the lyrics of a song he made up, so he doesn't forget it. We occasionally look at what he writes to help polish it by correcting spelling or grammar, but usually we don't make a big deal out of this unless he's in the mood to hear it. |
Elizabeth
Mom to Eric (8 ) and Ruby (4.5) |
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Reply: 8 - 13 |
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| sararose |
| Posted on: March 1st, 2006, 11:16pm |
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When my friends and I were young we used to enjoy playing bingo, and that has number recognition.
As for writing, we used to enjoy writing in code (as secret agents, of course). For example, A=1, B=2, and so forth. If I hid a clue or surprise for a friend on the table, then my decoded word would read "table".
So, maybe you could start by creating a treasure hunt of coded clues for your son to follow, eventually finding some treasure (pennies, junk jewelry, whatever). Every single child I've played this game with asked for the treasure hunt two or three times, then suddenly they wanted to make one for me. Kids who I couldn't even get to pay attention to a story were suddenly obsessed with writing clues. They needed lots of help, and most of the time it was impossible to follow the clues, but hey, it motivated them to write!
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| inginouity |
| Posted on: March 1st, 2006, 11:51pm |
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Quoted Text who is patrick starfish? |
He is Spongebob's not so clever buddy
Ginou |
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| obiwan |
| Posted on: March 2nd, 2006, 3:30am |
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Just had to weigh in on this one, my son is now 11 and math has been a constant struggle for him, but we found these books, actually a series, "Games for math, Games for writing, Games for reading by Peggy Kaye, which we used on his Patrick Starfish days and they always brought him around. He's doing very well in math although, he still doesn't like it, but that was the key for my son, making work not seem like work. I still have days where I think he is ADD, ABC, HIJ, whatever the label of the month is. Don't give up the ship!  |
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| inginouity |
| Posted on: March 2nd, 2006, 2:35pm |
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I'm always in for fun books to teach with, so I checked our library (Lomas Tramway)and atleast there they have them all. Also, I saw some nice price used ones on Amazon. Thanks for the tip.
Ginou |
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| monica.cohu |
| Posted on: March 8th, 2006, 9:54pm |
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Karen - I soo understand. Ian is my wild-man. Well, wild-boy. His daddy is my wild-man --- LOTS OF ENERGY!!!!
ANYWAY - I just want to say. It will come. Some days, I still wander, "AM I DOING THE RIGHT THING?" But 85% of the time, I know I am!!!
I will call you! There are soo many wonderful options out there for you. Us mom's of high-energy boys gotta talk!!!
I too, think Ian could easily be labeled if he went to public or private school. Oh Well, what ya going do?
It can be such a fine line with training their behavior and breaking their spirit sometimes. But it the positive can be done!!!
Monica
(Ian-eight) |
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