Hi there! First of all, you've located a terrific group of people to bounce all of these ideas around with. I think we've all gone through some sort of searching, questioning, research stage that is very stressful and full of unknowns (at first) that leads us each on different paths.
You guys are going to be okay . . . I TOTALLY APPLAUD you for thinking deeply and for being a sensitive, in-touch parent. Already, you're in an elite league! HUGS for being a parent who is willing to take an honest look at your situation and search out all of your options.
That alone, is going to help your child through this time.
If school is causing great pain in your child's life right now, please know that it is okay to help/empower/nurture your child by making any decision you deem necessary. That's a right we inherit as parents that we can not be stripped of . . . the right to protect. It's not being overprotective, by any means. If your child is crying out for help, it's okay to love him to pieces through this!
The beautiful thing about childhood is that you've plenty of time. It is okay if there is "no learning" for a little while as healing takes place. How can learning occur when one is depressed and anxious? (We wouldn't ask this of an adult!) There is plenty of time . . . healing is the new priority.
Whether or not homeschooling is the right choice for you will become apparent as time goes by.
In many cases, parents who chose this path look back and realize they were doing it all along and it's not at all as glamorous as it appears to be on the outside. It's just highly-customized to your life and your child. It is a gift of freedom, not imprisonment. But it definitely does feel like "switching lanes" at first and this can feel unnerving as you do it.
Friend, we wish you the best as you move through this process. I just can't tell you how normal this is! You are so normal. HE is so normal. Your sensitivity to him is your intuition trying to get your attention and we commend you for not squealching that voice of truth.
It really would be okay to take a break from public school right now if you chose to.
I really hope you'll consider keeping in touch and letting us know if we can do anything to help.
There are a lot of nice, experienced homeschoolers here and around town . . . though mine are much younger, people who've posted above such as Carol can really relate to what nine-year-old boys are going through right now and would be a FANTASTIC resource for you.