14 year olds are a diverse group. I might suggest she take a month off "schooling" to let him deschool and to read up on homeschooling issues including deschooling and talk with him about his wants and want-nots, his dreams and goals.
Diane, that is so wise . . . I love what you said.
By 14-years-old, a boy has received A LOT of messages from school and may not really feel in-touch with himself.
It would be truly wise, and very honest, to encourage a period of UN-winding all that negative momentum.
Truly, you wouldn't regret it . . .
"Deschooling" is a VERY REAL phenomenon that happens for, sometimes an extended, period of time.
Depending on what he's "been through", it can take a few years . . . Remember how you felt after graduation?
We become SO PROGRAMMED in the cookie-cutter system . . . and all the forced reading really robs us of the love of reading . . .
After school, I didn't want to read a book for YEARS! But, it did gradually return after I returned to CHOICE and FREEWILL.
The anxiety had to dissipate, though. And all I wanted to do was surf the web, visit with friends, be alone, ponder life, etc. . . things very common to a 14 yr old!
You know, I just want to encourage you guys to reconnect in your relationship. He may truly need to "find himself."
14-years-old is very close to manhood with all of its specific needs (having a purpose, contributing, fixing things, feeling respected, etc.)
Online learning may be an excellent option for him.
Even just "googling" his questions will lead him to a plethora of info . . . a library unto itself.
There are lots of wonderful online learning curriculums . . . and there are teenage homeschool groups in Albuquerque (can anyone suggest some?)