Hi everyone,
My name is Sandra and I am the mother of two boys, 13 and 4. I am strongly considering homeschooling my thirteen y.o. He is currently in the seventh grade at an  APS middle school.  He is in gifted classes. Actually he is only in a gifted language arts class at this time. He was removed from the accelerated math class during the school year for not maintaining a b average. ( He tested last month and is at a high school level for math!)He is extremely intelligent but has no motivation at all.  He is "passing" with mostly D's.
I want to home school him because APS does not care about his education and are letting him slide. I am at my wits end as to what to do for his education.
I have read other posts regarding reading materials but can anyone give me any insight on potential difficulties taking him out at this age?  And will someone clarify the meeting time for Tuesday? Is it 1:00?
Thanks
Sandra

Hi Sandra!

On some of the other posts, some of the moderators have stated that you have to take into account that you are asking bunch of homeschool parents what they think, but I say save the boy! I even go so far as to say, "Move heaven and earth, mom,  to save the boy!" His low motivation and lackluster grades are highly indicative of a plea for someone to take notice of him and to DO SOMETHING. If you can homeschool, I say do it. Our children are our future!

You are welcome to private message me anytime!!

Best wishes!

connie

Hi Sandra      I can't help but imagine your son TOTALLY SOARING once you guys "get your footing" in your own, customized homeschooling/unschooling style.
                         It would be so cool if you'd consider keeping us updated on how things go
                                      (as a mother of younger kids, I'd be so encouraged to hear your journey unfold).
                         Your family sounds delightful and your son sounds brilliant . . . how awesome

The park day on Tuesday is now at 10am I believe.

Hi Sandra,

I was home schooled from 4th through 12 grade. I loved it. Have you talked to your son about the idea and what he does or doesn't like about his school, also how he views his grades? My husband hated public school because he felt the teachers did not teach him anything and were not supportive of real learning. He did ok, but did not hold grades in high esteem. His parents supported him and did not place a high value on his grades, but supported learning. (He thinks he read pretty much the entire school library.) Therefore, he didn't lose his love of learning. He went on to finish college and graduate school and liked those environments much more.

I believe if your son really loves to learn but is frustrated by the public school, homeschooling is ideal. It offers him the potential to learn at his own pace, and make better use of his time studying -no listening to lectures and doing worksheets to pass hours away and then taking a ton of homework home in the evening to really study, instead he does the real studying during the day. It is great for developing self discipline in studying what needs to be studied, and in this way is great preparation for college.

Potential problems - he could miss friends, and certain types of socialization; he could begrudge you if you don't do this together with him; everyone needs to learn to deal with people who are unreasonable and demanding, but this can be taught outside of the school as well if you work with him.
Benefits - innumerable.

I think the time on Tuesday has been moved to 10AM.

Some thoughts anyway!

Take care.

Just wanted to pop in for a second and say that it sounds like you know in your heart what you should do...and what is best for your precious son.

I've been homeschooling my twin sons for almost 6 years now. They are 12 and will be 7th graders this next school year. It was the best decision my family ever made, though I won't lie and say that it's all peaches and cherries every day. Some days are tough and full of challenges, but it's still much easier and less stressful than dealing with the issues that public school brought into our lives.

Best wishes to you. If you ever want to chat, feel free to e-mail me: twinville2 @ yahoo dot com    

Hi Sandra,

I just wanted you to know that I understand your frustration. My husband and I pulled our son out of an APS middle school after 6 weeks of watching him crash and burn. He too was in the gifted program that carried over from elementary school. We quickly realized the attitude of the administration was a "sink or swim" type setting and they really didn't care or rather, couldn't afford to care if our son was slipping through the cracks or not.

We took him out and he was frustrated and couldn't do math without tears for months. And he was angry he felt like he had failed when in reality the system was failing him. So we laid off of forcing school on him and with the wonderful advice from other homeschooling moms I met at park day we just relaxed as far as education for months we "de-a.p.s-ed."! He found very good friends in the home school group here! There are lots of pre-teens and teens that are happy home schooled!

Eventually he started to come around and his attitude toward education changed since we were in a no-pressure environment and we slowly started doing school work again regularly and he all of a sudden zipped through pre-algebra texts books on his own accord! Without Tears!! But the most significant thing we have noticed as parents is that our son smiles again and finally feels is allowed to be comfortable with himself. That angry young man from September 2008 is no where to be found and I couldn't be more thankful for that! He is now 12 and next year he is trying a charter school because it was something he chose to try knowing that he can always come back home with his sister that I am homeschooling as well, but his attitude toward himself and his education seems changed for the better. This was the very best thing we could have done as a family! We are all closer, not without a bit of heartache along the way here but I would do it all over again if I had to! Its been wonderful!

These moms here are all in the same boat with how we feel about our childrens education! You are in the right place for some good advice! Hang in there!

Lizett

Sandra,

For gifted kids, homeschool is often the very best option. You have the ability to accelerate through the material he already knows and "dig deep" into subjects that matter to him. There is another site http://giftedissues.davidsongifted.org/BB/ubbthreads.php/forum_summary that deals specifically with GT kids. Many of the parents homeschool and can give you a good idea of what you face. There is also a teen group ABQHomeschool High that is homeschooled teens.

Nobody says you have to follow some regime, when it comes to graduation. My daughter and I have home schooled my (almost 14 years old) grandson, since day one.

Just having a relaxed attitude about his education, had him reading grown up books by the time he was 5, counting to 100 by his 1st birthday and using logic.  When it came to advancing in math, I did insist on memorizing the times tables. Without that, I couldn't see how he could advance. Aside from that, he is not pushed at all. We set the materials in front of him, reserve study time and let him go to it.

A couple years ago, we invested in the up to date GED study book. Now, we use that as our guidelines, to make sure we haven't overlooked anything and to catch weak spots. He has worked his way through that study book and now, only studying his algebra. I need to spend some time with him, teaching him geometrics but the truth is, he already has more knowledge than most high school graduates.

You can teach him more, than any public school, just by every day living. Study workbooks, you pick up at Walmart or any good book store, cover everything you could possibly need. You don't have to spend a fortune.

When it comes to math, develop games you play with each other. Just like when I was cramming the times tables down my grandson, I played 'think fast'. I'd shout out something like "7 times 6" and if he didn't answer within 10 seconds, I blurted out the answer. You know, that made him so mad, because he felt like I wasn't giving him a chance. It worked, though. Big time. Creating competition put the boy on his toes and he was determined, to outwit grandma. I would tell him " if you can add, subtract and multiply at the drop of a hat, you can do anything". Math isn't a brain cramp, it's a brain game. It doesn't hurt that I love math.

Here's where I think most folks fumble. When it comes to a subject, they can't do themselves, they stumble and make it seem like a bigger mountain, than it is. I'm lousy at algebra and so is my daughter, so we found a friend who was good at it. "Come over for dinner. By the way, would you explain this to my son?"

If you make a child, feel like he deserves to know everything, it's free and he doesn't ever want to be the one who doesn't know....the fire will build. When I run up against a subject, my grandson is bored with, I tell him this: "I don't want you to ever find yourself in a situation with your friends, being the only dummy about something. I want people to think you know just about everything there is to know." It works. It makes him view his education in a whole other light.

Watch your own conversation and be aware of when you've just said something, that went clear over your young student's head. Stop and explain where the term comes from and how it's used. That is a constant education and his learning will be far above anything the public school will ever feed into him.

Think about it. "Hunker Down". He won't need it in high society but do you want him to ever feel like the fool, who doesn't know something? How many terms do you know or use, that your child has never had explained to him. "Mad as a wet hen", "Hell, hath no fury", "As the crow flies". We know and use so many old terms that our children don't understand. At the same time, we talk over their heads with intellectual language, without realizing these kids don't understand but are embarrassed to say anything.

Things we forget are valuable learning opportunities: camping skills, teach our children to trust themselves. Fishing, teaches them patience and reward. A bank account teaches them responsibility. When you're driving, your child is paying attention to things, you'd never dream. He's watching your reactions, reading the same signs you are, picking up on the manners at the 4 way stop. He already knows to stop at red lights and go on green. He's been learning to drive for years, and you didn't know it.

You begin to teach your child to be grown up, when you send him back to the front of the store to get a shopping cart (because you didn't think you'd need one). Such small actions, give a child the opportunity to feel grown up, teaching independence.

One of the first things, even the home school teacher forgets, is listening. By listening, you discover what subjects your child is interested in. By giving him his head, with a subject he wants to learn, he loosens up about learning. Curiosity and 'tinkering', teaches your child more than you can imagine. It teaches them to test things, try things and make judgements.

When it comes to children, I live by boundaries. I set the boundaries with plenty of moving space. I cast no judgement until they come too close to those boundaries. Meal times, bed times, bathing each day, limits on creative clothing , hatred and social actions, that sort of thing.  There's a lot of room to move, in between and certain boundaries are stretched with age. I do the same with the education. By the end of the year, I want to see this much accomplished. That's it. As we get close to the end of the year, I stop and query my student to see how he's doing. It usually reminds him of something he overlooked. About once a week, my daughter will check to see what he has accomplished during the week and if he needs to change subjects. Usually, all she hears is: 'did that', 'finished that'.....We're always surprised. "Aw come on. You're going to tell me you've already gone through that entire history book, both these math work books and read 2 novels? Prove it!"

Home schooling is actually so easy (and so advanced), you have to set a weekly check up or you'll forget your job. It becomes life, instead of a drudge.

We've already planned a GED test. We informed my grandson, a couple years ago, that when he felt ready, we would take him in for the GED test. Once he passes that test, he can go to any school he desires.

I hope my ramblings have helped. Don't forget, grandma's and grandpa's went through school before the great 'dumbing down'. They can be a huge source of education.

judy